Core Value #4

The world is a pretty big place. With more than 7 billion people sharing this planet with us, it is hard to imagine how any of us can really have any kind of significant or lasting impact on it. At some point in our idealistic youth we had dreams of how we might leave our mark in a lasting way, but reality has a way of subduing the passion of youth and causing us to settle for doing the best we can at improving our small corner of the world while the rest of the world becomes an unreachable mess beyond our control.

Let's face it, the vast majority of our energy and thoughts go into the world outside our doorstep that we see everyday. The rest of the world is merely made up of images on Fox News that are quickly forgotten. We are satisified with living life inside our bubble until some young preacher stands up in front of the church and insists that The Great Commission really does mean that we should make disciples OF ALL NATIONS. He might even go further to say that Christ may be delaying his return until we accomplish our mission of making disciples of all nations.

The first three core values I have written about are all reasonable and acceptable. It makes sense to TEACH GOD'S WORD, TRAIN GOD'S PEOPLE, and LOVE OUR COMMUNITY. But to leave it there falls well short of accomplishing our mission as a church. There is one more step we must take. It must be an equally important core value of our church. To neglect this fourth core value would mean we have failed in our mission to make disciples.

CORE VALUE #4: "Impacting Our World"

The question that first comes to mind when looking at that phrase is "HOW"? How can I have an impact on my world? How can my church and its limited resources have any real impact on this world of 7 billion people?

Then only way I can answer this question is like this:

1) You can't do it alone. Jesus gave the command to make disciples of all nations to his apostles as a collective group. He gave this command to the CHURCH. Without the church your efforts will be weak and ineffective. Christ gave us the church to be the means through which His work would be accomplished. We, collectively, are the body of Christ. If you think you can accomplish anything significant for Christ outside of the church, you are ignoring the truth of scripture and you are wrong.

2) The super-natural power of the Holy Spirit will empower you to accomplish things you could never do with your own natural power. This is precisely why Jesus told the apostles to wait on the Holy Spirit to come before trying to start the church. Read Acts 1 & 2 to see how this happened.

3) It can be accomplished by using simple math. If you take a small group of true disciples who are serious about their mission and each of them succeeds in making new disciples. It does not take long before a small group has impacted thousands or millions of lives. Jesus knew this mathematical truth. That is why he spent his earthly ministry focused on just 12 men. He knew if he made 12 true disciples, they could truly impact the world. And they did!

At First Christian Church in Monroe, we want to make disciples who are passionate about LOVING OUR COMMUNITY and IMPACTING OUR WORLD. We want to find ways to send people to all corners of the world to address needs and to spread the gospel of Christ. We want to support those who are already on the ground doing this work by praying for them and helping them out with financial resources. We want to be a part of planting churches where the gospel of Christ is not currently being spread.

At FCC we might not be able to send people or resources to every single corner of the world, but we can try. We can pray. We can pay attention to the needs. We can care.

What if the 100 or so people at our church became passionate about Impacting Our World? What if every church in Monroe started doing the same? What if all the churches in the Atlanta, GA area started working together to Impact Our World? What if churches all across the United States started passionately working together to Impact the World for Christ?

The fact is...we could reach every nation on earth with the gospel and address every social injustice that comes to light. We could truly impact our world if the church would just do its job and accomplish its mission.

If we did this and accomplished our mission, I believe there would be nothing else holding the King of kings back from returning and defeating the enemy for eternity. I want to see this happen. I want to be a part of the army of God. That is why IMPACTING OUR WORLD is a core value at FCC in Monroe.

TEACHING GOD'S WORD
TRAINING GOD'S PEOPLE
LOVING OUR COMMUNITY
IMPACTING OUR WORLD

Let's quit talking about it. Let's get it done!!!

Core Value #3

As I mentioned earlier, the way I present these core values for FCC is not quite a finished product, but certainly captures the spirit and essence of how we hope to accomplish our mission as a church.

The third core value for our community of Christ-followers flows directly from what happens when a person or group of people begin pursuing a relationship with God on a daily basis. It relates to how the Holy Spirit will open our eyes to the "helpless and harrassed" people surrounding us where we live. Matthew 9 begins and ends with how Jesus expected his church to connect with those we see everyday in our community.

CORE VALUE #3: "Serving Our Community" OR "Loving Our Community"
(We haven't settled on which word works better as a core value; "serving" or "loving")

There are those people who are naturally compassionate and automatically see the needs and hurts of the people around them and they are often moved to take action. But lets be honest, most of us are oblivious to the needs of those around us. We need the Spirit of God to open our eyes and to put a burden on our heart to reach out to these people and to love them. These people are those in our community we see everyday in the stores, in the restaurants, standing in their yards, walking down the street, and looking for answers about why life is the way it is. They are lost and they don't even know it. They are hurting and they aren't sure why.

At FCC, we are located fairly close to the center of town. I can take a one mile walk around the block and pass the homes of well over a thousand families. A sad truth is that poverty is epidemic in our community and it completely surrounds our church's property on all sides. Another sad truth is that most of us drive right by this poverty every Sunday morning so we can gather together for worship and never even give the slightest thought to how we might actually serve and love the community surrounding us.

As I see the example of Jesus unfold in scripture, I can't help but think about how he might respond to those in our community. I doubt he would spend much time at all hanging out in the church building with the other believers. To be a true disciple of Jesus, I need to start walking in his footsteps. Our church needs to start walking in his footsteps. It is time for us to stop DRIVING BY our community each Sunday and to start SERVING and LOVING our community.

A super-natural result of "TEACHING GOD'S WORD" and "TRAINING GOD'S PEOPLE" is that the Holy Spirit will open our eyes to see that our mission to make disciples must start with "LOVING OUR COMMUNITY".

It is easy to "go to church" each Sunday for worship. It requires very little effort and time for most church-goers. Loving Our Community is MUCH more difficult and requires considerable time and effort and sacrifice. Let's face it...most of us would never take this step on our own. This is not a natural core value for most believers. But for true disciples who have been transformed by the Spirit of God, this becomes a super-natural core value that cannot be ignored.

The leadership of FCC has a passionate desire to let our community know we love them and want to serve them in any way we can. We want this because it is the only way we can bring glory to God in Monroe. It is the only way we can ever hope to make new disciples - and THAT is our mission.

The forth and final core value we are working toward at FCC is how we complete the Great Commission. This final core value is what I believe Christ is waiting on his church to accomplish before he returns. I will discuss it further in my next post.

Core Value #2

Make sure to read "Core Value #1" prior to reading this post.

The second core value we want to put in the center of all we do at First Christian in Monroe focuses on taking people from being "believers" into being true disciples of Jesus. To be a disciple of someone, you can't just hear about them and acknowledge how great they are. You must commit your life to following in their footsteps. You must commit to trying to become just like them in every way possible. Being a believer is easy. Being a disciple is not! It is demanding and it is difficult (see Luke 14:25-35). To be a disciple of Jesus, you have to be prepared for more than just going to church. You must be ready to do whatever it takes to become like Him.

CORE VALUE #2: "Training God's People"

At FCC, once we have introduced people to God's Word, we want to begin training them to become true disciples of Jesus. I love using the term "SPIRITUAL DISCIPLINE". A Spiritual Discipline is an activity that enhances a person's personal relationship with God and obedience to what He has commanded. A person must practice these disciplines over and over until they become a natural part of their life.

A few common examples of Spiritual Disciplines a person might practice are: BIBLE STUDY, PRAYER, GIVING, SERVING OTHERS, WORSHIP, FASTING, and MEDITATION/SOLITUDE. Doing these activities does not define or determine one's salvation, but ARE part of a true disciple's life. These are some of the things we do that draw us nearer to God in our relationship with Him. These are the things we do to hear the Holy Spirit speak to us and to be obedient to the Holy Spirit's leadership.

At FCC, we don't just want to make believers. We want to make disciples. We what to show people how Jesus lived and what he commanded. We want to show people how to become true disciples of Jesus and to do these things in their lives too.

TEACHING GOD'S WORD and TRAINING GOD'S PEOPLE are the first two core values we are passionate about at FCC. If we do these two things well, the next two core values will be much easier to accomplish. Our mission is to MAKE DISCIPLES. That means we never stop and we never are satisfied. Once we help someone become a disciple, they join us on our mission to make disciples of others. That leads us to Core Value #3. I will write about that later!

Core Value #1

Together with the Leadership Team at First Christian Church in Monroe, I am working to clarify our mission and our core values so our entire church family can be unified around what it is we are trying to do and how we are going to do it. The process isn't finished yet, but with the guidance of the Holy Spirit, I am convinced that we will align the activity of OUR church with the mission Christ gave to HIS church.

Over the next few days, I am going to post a series of four short blogs, each one centered around one of the core values that will define the activity of our church and help us accomplish our mission.

For a community of believers to accomplish what God has called them to do, they must first determine their mission. They all need to clearly understand that Christ commissioned his church to MAKE DISCIPLES (Matthew 28:18-20 & Acts 1:8). To accomplish this mission, the leadership of FCC is narrowing its focus down to a set of "core values" that will clearly define what we believe are the keys to success. There are a lot of "good" things a church can do, but we are focused on these four things.

CORE VALUE #1 - "Teaching God's Word"

Seems pretty obvious, right? What else can be more important when trying to make disciples than to teach God's Word? Sadly, this isn't quite as obvious as you might think. Sure, churches spend A LOT of time talking about God's Word. They present passages and concepts from scripture each Sunday morning. They talk about the Bible as the "guide" to their lives and teach the kids to treat the book with respect. But I see a level of Biblical illiteracy in most church-goers that is frightening. Church leaders are TALKING about God's Word, but many people simply are not digging in to God's Word with a hunger and thirst that defines their daily life.

Hebrews 4:12 (one of my favorites) says..."For the Word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart." In other words, scripture changes everything! It has a transforming power that cannot be explained. God's Word comes with a companion called the Holy Spirit. Each time you dig into scripture, the very Spirit of God speaks directly into your heart. It is powerful and it changes you fundamentally forever!

For many church-goers, allowing the Pastor to share what the Spirit of God has said to him once a week is enough. They are content with a challenging, or at least entertaining message each Sunday. They simply do not realize that the Holy Spirit of God has a specific and direct message for them if they will dig into God's Word on their own. Hearing a good message on Sunday is a good thing, but it can never replace what God wants to say to you directly!

Once a person has experienced the transforming power of scripture in their own personal life, it changes everything. Bible study turns from being a mundane and confusing exercise in futility into an exciting and life-changing mystery. They simply cannot wait until they get to do it again. It becomes a part of their daily life and they would never want to go through a day without it.

At FCC, our Leadership Team wants to see TEACHING GOD'S WORD become more than something we talk about and preach about. We want to teach every person we come in contact with just how powerful and amazing God's Word really is. We want to teach them how to study the Bible and how to understand it. We want to give them tools for developing daily Bible Study habits. We want to give people arenas where they can discuss what they are studying with other believers and share what God's Spirit is saying to them through scripture.

If we want to make disciples, it MUST begin with teaching God's Word. When a person is confronted with the truth and the power of scripture, transformation is the only possible result.

Core Value #2 flows from the first one. It is also a critical key to our church accomplishing its mission to make disciples. But you will have to wait until my next post to see what that is all about!

The Cat is Out of the Bag...

Well...I can finally talk about something that has been in the works for quite a while now. After months of prayer, soul searching, talking with trusted friends, more prayer, and more soul searching...I have accepted the Senior Ministry position at First Christian Church in Monroe, GA.

Last night, as I sat on a stool in front of my youth group at Crosspoint Christain Church and explained my decision to them, the thoughts and emotions running through my head were too many to describe with mere words. I have spent the past 14+ years of my life in full-time youth ministry and I still love working with teenagers. As a matter of fact, the group I have now is the most spiritually mature and committed group I have ever worked with. Leaving them is going to be hard.

As I made the announcement to them, I read the story from Matthew 9:9-13 where Jesus calls Matthew to follow Him and joins Matthew and his tax collector friends for dinner. The Pharisees couldn't understand why Jesus would want to hang out with these people, you know - the sinners, the non-religious types, the dispised people of their culture. Jesus' simple reply was, "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick." Jesus made it clear that He was going to go to the greatest need. He wanted to be where He was needed most.

First Christian Church in Monroe has been through an amazingly difficult struggle in the past year or so. Many have left the church for a multitude of reasons. I have had several people try to discourage me from taking this ministry because of these "problems". I am fully aware that it is not an easy or coveted task that I am taking on.

The natural question to ask is, "WHY?". Why leave a healthy and growing youth ministry with a strong core group of kids who are thinking about going into ministry themselves one day? Why leave that behind to face an uncertain struggle with a church that has faced some serious problems in the very recent past?

To be honest, the only way I can explain it is to say that I truly sense the Spirit of God calling me to do something hard for His kingdom. I truly believe He is calling me to the greater need right now. We need a strong Christian Church in Monroe, GA. We need a church that is passionate about serving and loving that community. If I am the tool that God wants to use to make that happen, I am honored to answer that call. I truly believe that God wants this church to succeed and to carry out His mission no matter what struggles they have faced.

As I concluded my message to the youth group last night I saw the looks you would expect when you tell a group of kids that you are leaving them after six years of loving and mentoring them. There were tears and there were questions. But there was something else that I have never seen in a youth group before. Right after we dismissed with prayer, a couple of our student leaders called the core group together in our prayer room and asked me to join them. What I heard confirmed my decision. These kids were starting to plan how they were going to rise up and lead this youth ministry forward. They understood that I was following God's call and it was time for them to answer that call as well by making sure this youth ministry continues to reach students in its community. They understood that it was up to them to apply what we have been teaching and talking about for so long.

It is awesome thing to see the discipleship process at work. I can't wait to see how God uses the students at Crosspoint in ministry. I also can't wait to see how God is able to use me as I begin a new journey with FCC Monroe.

We Have an Image Problem

This morning I started my day off meeting a friend at Chick-fil-a for breakfast. He was caught in traffic and running late so I grabbed the USA Today that was available and scanned through the Sports page. After seeing that the Braves lost AGAIN and the Falcons might as well forfeit this Sunday's game against the Eagles; I looked through the Front Page section and noticed an article on page 2 that really caught my attention.

"More Americans tailoring religion to fit their needs"

The article is based on comments and research done by George Barna that surveyed American adults in 1991 and again in 2011 on matters of religion and faith. The results are interesting...and sad.

The 2 most interesting results published are:
1) Those who have NOT attended church in the past 6 months rose from 24% in 1991 to 37% in 2011.
2) Those who HAVE accepted Jesus as their Savior and expect to go to Heaven rose from 35% in 1991 to 40% in 2011

Now, let me get this straight: The number of "unchurched" people in the US ROSE by 13% while those who claim Jesus and are Saved ROSE by 5%.

This information makes me ask a series of questions to which I am not sure I know the answer. Maybe you can help me out:
- How can more people be saved when fewer people are in the church?
- Why are fewer people being reached by the church while more people are accepting Christ as their Savior?
- If the church is irrelevant to 37% of our population, is it the fault of the American Church or is it a natural and expected cultural occurance?
- Should the church "try" to be more culturally relevant?
- Can people be followers of Jesus and "saved" if they are not part of the church?

These questions really make me want to examine the way we traditionally function and behave as The Church. As I mentioned in my previous post, I STRONGLY believe that the church is STILL the body of Christ and the way He has and aways will intend to reach the world with the message of Salvation. I read 1 Corinthians 12:12-31 and see that we are all called to be a part of the body and were created to fit into the body with our own talents and gifts to make it stronger. The problem is that from the outside, so many people don't see the church as "the body". They see it as a dysfunctional family that fights and tears each other apart then looks into the rest of the world and calls them things like "lost" and "sinners". They see a group of people who have created their own "church language" and project an image that says "I might have problems, but I'll never let anyone here see them!" The world sees things like this, but it just isn't how Jesus intended "His body" to work (I know, more church language!).

All of these questions and thoughts are things I am wrestling with on a personal level. I want to show people who are not in the church that we really do have something special here. We are not perfect people and we don't want to act like we are. You don't have to talk a certain way and use certain words to fit in here. You don't have to dress a certain way to be accepted. You can ask tough questions without being told to "just have faith". You can have major problems in your life and receive love instead of judgement (and maybe a little help too!). You can have doubts about God and even get angry with Him. That is part of who we are!

Don't get me wrong...I don't think for a second that churches project these images to the world on purpose. I think it just gets easy for us to transform from being the body of Christ into a social club of common beliefs and it doesn't take long until we expect everyone to conform to our ways or else they just won't fit in.

Look...I'm not trying to "bash" the church. I just want to see us open our eyes to the facts. In 20 years, 13% fewer people go to church yet 5% more say they have accepted Jesus as their Savior. Whether we want to admit it our not, we have an image problem. We have to quit blaming the culture and figure out how to reach the culture. We need to put our traditions and practices on the line and examine whether they are keeping us from the real mission or not.

I certainly don't have all the answers, but I sure am willing to ask the questions and see where that leads me!!!

When God Calls

"As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received." (Ephesians 4:1)


I have been asked on many occasions: "When did you receive your "calling" into the ministry?" To be honest, I have no idea how to answer that question. In my earlier ministry days a question like this would make me feel like maybe I was a fake because I never had this crystal clear moment like Saul on the road to Damascus where God "CALLED" me into the ministry. Questions like this would make me doubt: "Maybe I'm not called into the ministry"..."Maybe I'm doing this job for the wrong reasons"..."Maybe I just wasn't listening well when God did call".

To be honest, in my earlier ministry days, it really was more of a career choice than a calling. I had talents/gifts that helped me be reasonably successful in youth ministry without much help from God. Let's face it...a lively personality, a creative flare, and some musical ability can attract a crowd of teenagers - even when the power of the Holy Spirit is being ignored or neglected.

If you have read my testimony posts from earlier this year, you already know that my true calling into ministry didn't come until about a year and a half ago. Again, it wasn't a blinding light and a big voice from Heaven that got my attention, it was simply my submission to the power of scripture and the Holy Spirit. Reading the book of Acts rocked me and opened my eyes to God's true calling on my life.

There was a time when I would have tried to teach from Ephesians 4:1 and stopped at saying that our "calling" is simply to be Christians, and to be worthy means that we "act" like good Christains. Unfortunately, to stop there neglects the true context of this verse. To get a better understanding of what verse one means we must read AT LEAST through verse 16, and it would be even better to go all the way into chapter 5 through verse 21.

The bottom line here is that it is becoming more and more clear to me that we are not merely called to "be Christian". We are called to become part of the BODY that is called THE CHURCH. To be a part of the body means we MUST serve a purpose and be active. It means we are joining the army and accepting the mission. It means we are unified with this body, even if we don't like or understand all of the actions those leading or guiding the body are taking.

Am I called into ministry? ABSOLUTELY! Guess what, you are too!!! I received my calling into the ministry the day I chose to follow Christ and was obedient to Him in baptism. The problem is that I didn't really understand my calling until recently.

This doesn't mean you have to be employed by a church, but you can't ignore the fact that you ARE commanded to be a part of the church and its ministry to the community and the world. There are a lot of "Christians" out there who are not a part of the church. Maybe they were hurt by a particular church, maybe they feel the church is flawed or compromised, or maybe they just feel that they can follow Jesus just as well independent of the church. Allow me to be so bold as to say, if you are not part of the church, you have missed your calling!!! If you think you can be a disciple of Jesus and obedient to his leadership outside of the church, you are wrong!

I know some will not like or agree with my strong words here, but I urge you to take it up with scripture instead of arguing with me about this. Spend some time really studying Ephesians 4:1 - 5:21. Spend some time studying the book of Acts. Spend some time studying the gospels and how Jesus works with his disciples.

Jesus chose the church as the means for spreading the Gospel story of salvation to the world. His Holy Spirit works in the context of the church as it unifies us together as one body. Nobody is capable of living out The Great Commission on their own. It just isn't possible. The Great Commission is for the church, not for individual efforts.

Now, I will speak just as strongly about those who are sitting in churches, but doing nothing to advance the Kingdom. Sitting in a church auditorium each week does not automatically make you a part of the body. The parts of the body have a job to do and are working. If you are just taking up pew space in some church building each week, you have missed your calling too!

When Ephesians 4:1 says to live a life worthy of the calling you have received, please understand this is a BIG DEAL. You have been called to join the church body and to impact the world for Christ. Living a life worthy of that calling requires commitment to unity, sacrifice, and discipleship.

God has called. It is time to answer that call!

(I will be going deeper into these thoughts as I preach at the First Christain Church of Monroe, GA this coming Sunday - 9/11/11 at 10:30am. Feel free to join us if you want!)

Bonhoeffer...

I don't know how or why, but somehow I made it through 37 years of life and 18 years in ministry before learning anything about the life of Dietrich Bonhoeffer. My ignorance about this man was finally corrected by a good friend this summer when he gave me biography entitled Bonhoeffer: Pastor, Martyr, Prophet, Spy by Eric Metaxas. What an amazing story and life!

Without giving a review or summary of the book itself, I just simply want to reflect upon how the life of Dietrich Bonhoeffer has inspired me to try and become a faithful and true disciple of Jesus.

It is interesting to me that so many people think of themselves as disciples of Jesus. To be a true disciple, one must commit his or her life to following in the footsteps of the teacher. It requires intense discipline, complete commitment, and a passionate desire to become as much like the teacher as possible. To be like the teacher, one must spend every minute possible with the teacher. To be a disciple of the teacher, one must fully submit themselves to being obedient to the teacher's commands.

This description of a disciple leads me to a big question: "Can a person be a Christian without being a true disciple of Jesus?" (Sorry, but I had to ask it)

From what I can tell from history and the biography on Bonhoeffer, it looks like this guy was the real deal. His commitment to scripture and to being a disciple of Jesus is humbling and amazing. In the face of intense persecution, Dietrich Bonhoeffer not only passed the test - he proved that a true disciple of Jesus can have an amazing impact on the world.

It is easy to get the idea that there are two types of Christians in the world:
- The first type is the normal, everyday people who believe and follow the plan. They are moral, they go to church, they give, they read their Bibles and pray, and Christianity is a significant part of who they are.
- The second type is that rare individual who we might think of as a SuperChristian. They basically fit the definition of a true disciple I described earlier.

However, I'm starting to realize that there is only one type of Christian - a disciple of Jesus. The difference is in how far down the road each of us are in our personal relationship with Him.

Sadly, many people never get deep enough into God's Word to see what Jesus really meant when He said, "Come, follow me". Jesus didn't mean, "follow me to church" or "follow me to a good and moral life". Jesus was calling people to become true disciples and to follow Him with complete submission to Him, abandoning their own way of life.

Don't misunderstand my words here. I am NOT saying that you have to be the "SuperChristian" to be saved. We cannot save ourselves through our commitment to God and our goodness - otherwise we would not have even needed a Savior. What I AM saying is that a person who decides to follow Christ and accept His salvation will come to understand that there is nothing else in life more important than being a true disciple of Jesus.

I look at the life of a man like Dietrich Bonhoeffer and I realize that he was a true disciple of Christ. I am way short of Bonhoeffer's standard in my own life, but his example makes me want to become the disciple Jesus has called me to be.

In my opinion, the answer to the earlier question: "Can a person be a Christian without being a true disciple of Jesus?" is a resounding NO! Either I want to follow Him, or I want to keep doing life on my own terms. I can't have it both ways. Thank you, Dietrich Bonhoeffer, for displaying this in your life. Now, I have some following to do!!!

Putting it ALL on the Table

Moving is just NOT fun. Last weekend our family completed a move and I can't think of any aspect of the event that I enjoyed. There is, however, one benefit to moving that I want to explore and share with you. The experience of moving reveals just how materialistic and selfish I really am. I have to admit that I spent a lot of time last week reflecting on how much useless "junk" I own and was embarrassed by it (not to mention how much more work it provided for me in 95 degree heat!!!).

There seems to be a theme developing in my life lately that the Spirit of God is putting on my heart. It can best be described as "PUTTING IT ALL ON THE TABLE". We all go through seasons of self-evaluation. My family is in such a season right now. It can be both a very rewarding and a very challinging season to go through. To be honest, it can also be downright painful.

In this season of self-evaluation, we look at our finances and see just how much money we are wasting on entertainment and materialism. We are making choices like selling our house because it is just too much; getting rid of my smart phone because a $30/month data plan just doesn't make sense; turning off our satellite television; and the list goes on. We are also examining the way we are spending our time and energy as a family - less television, my wife staying home with the kids, homeschooling the kids, more intimate meals around the dinner table, etc. I say all of this to show that EVERYTHING in our lives is on the table and we are asking God to reveal what He desires of us. There is nothing that we are holding back. We have decided that if we are going to be obedient to God we need to put it all on the table and allow His Spirit to help us examine and adjust our lives to be in alignment with His will.

The hard part of doing this is that we are finding that God is challenging us to even let go of the "good" things in exchange for the "right" things. Without getting too specific, we have put our lives on the table for examination and God is clearly leading us to replace some good things in with some much better things.

What do you think would happen in your life and in your family if you all decided to put it all on the table for the sake of examination by God? Are you willing to be obedient to His Spirit's guidance?

Let me warn you...this is a very hard thing to do and it hurts. All I can say is that my wife and I have decided that we would rather be in the center of God's will and what He is commanding of us than to be comfortable and happy in our self-directed lives. We have a long way to go before we can declare victory, but it is a peaceful feeling to know that we are trying.

The Waiting Place

This time of year, as graduates are recognized and futures are contemplated, I often think about the Dr. Seuss classic "Oh, the Places You'll Go". I love that book because it so simply yet succinctly describes the path we are all on. Sometimes we are charging ahead and things are going great. Other times we are struggling to find our way through the maze of life when nothing seems to be working out. And then there are those most dreaded times when we are in the "Waiting Place". You know...that place where you're not sure if you should charge forward or retreat backward. That place where no decision seems right even though making no decision at all is even worse! At least when you are struggling you have something to focus on and overcome. When you're in the Waiting Place, you're not even sure what it is you're waiting on and there isn't really anything to overcome.

I have to be honest here and admit that lately I have been stuck in the Waiting Place. Don't get me wrong. I truly believe my personal relationship with the Spirit of God is stronger than it has ever been. However, day-to-day life seems to be stuck right now. My head tells me that it is just a season and will not last forever, but my heart is desperately searching for the path that I need to be traveling on.

I can't imagine what it felt like for Moses and the Israelites as they wandered in the wilderness for 40 years - talk about a Waiting Place!!! But I guess for Moses and Joshua, there was always the knowledge that God had a plan for them. God was just waiting on them to prepare themselves to fulfill that plan.

Maybe it is the same for me. I have faith and confidence in the fact that God has a plan and I get to somehow be a part of that plan. This season of waiting is God waiting on me to prepare myself to fulfill it. This is my season to address the weaknesses in my life so that I can be the most useful tool possible for God to use when the time is right.

I guess I need to look at it like this...I am not waiting on God. God is waiting on me. He is patiently waiting on me to be prepared to join Him on the path He has already made.

Weaklings...

2 Corinthians 12:9 & 10 (TNIV)

"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

It is my firm belief that when we hit our lowest point, God will work in the most amazing ways. When we are at our weakest and most humble, God's power takes over and does more for the Kingdom than we ever could on our own. When we are facing insults and hardships in the darkest times of our lives, we can have hope and confidence in the fact that God is getting ready to move and shake the world around you - not for your benefit or glory, but for HIS! Remember, it is His glory that we are here, not ours! When we face persecutions and difficulties in the scary and uncertain times of our lives, that is when the hand of God shows up and delivers a peace that goes beyond anything we could imagine or understand.

It isn't a pleasant thing to go through the tough and dark periods of life. As a matter of fact it can be tragic. But the "refining fire" of hard times is what makes us a stronger and more useful tool for God's Kingdom. The development of discipline, perseverance, courage, and wisdom are all by-products of the hard times in our lives. You might not enjoy them, but you can still thank God for them.

If you're experiencing a difficult time in your life right now, I hope these words can serve as a bit of an encouragement. If you are NOT, I hope you will store them in your heart for later.

God wants to do amazing things through you and with you. In your weakness you will find out just how strong your God really is!

In ??? We Trust...

The irony has just dawned on me. Maybe you're way ahead of me on this, but on how many levels is it disturbing and ironic that American currency has the phrase "In God We Trust" written on it? It is also funny to me that it is the Christian people in our nation who yell and scream the loudest when someone threatens to remove this statement from our money.

Allow me to explain what I mean by this:

- IMHO, materialism is destroying our country. It is destroying us socially, economically and spiritually. Our drive for MORE, MORE, MORE has created a culture of selfishness and extreme individualism that destroys our relationships with one another and with God. Yet, we print the statement "In God We Trust" right on the very tool being used to fan this destruction.

- The reason many people give for being "turned off" by the church is because "we" talk about money too much. We give the impression that all we want is your money. However, when one examines the New Testament, it is easy to see that this is the number one subject discussed by Jesus. Why? Because He knew this would be the one issue that would be most likely to separate people from God. The rich young man was challenged to sell everything then to follow Jesus, but he couldn't do it. Ultimately his money was more important to him that following Christ. Jesus said it would be easier for a rich man to pass through the eye of a needle than to enter the Kingdom of God. You can argue with me about what Jesus meant by this statement all day long, but in the end the message is clear; money is the one thing that people will choose over God. Yet, we print the statement "In God We Trust" right on the money itself.

- Scripture tells us to trust in God and to let tomorrow worry about itself. Many of us are willing to do this in most areas of our lives - but not with our material wealth. How much money are you putting away in your 401-K account? How much of your life revolves around paying bills, buying stuff, and planning for the future? Can you examine your life right now and honestly say that you trust God to take care of you. Can you honestly say that you are willing to let tomorrow take care of itself? That money you have stashed away for retirement could do amazing things right now for the poor in your community, right? Yet, on every dollar you have saved the words "In God We Trust" are printed right on the front!

Let me be clear. I'm writing these words because I am guilty of materialism and greed in so many ways throughout my entire life. I'm NOT writing these things to point a finger of judgment at anyone other than myself. I'm simply writing out the thoughts and convictions I am feeling in my heart and I believe it is time for me to start acting on these convictions.

If I truly trusted in God, I would not be worried about retirement. My retirement starts the day I take my last breath. I will receive my comfort, my rest, and my reward on that day, not a day sooner!

If I truly trusted in God, I would quit pouring my efforts into gathering the almighty dollar and realize that my ONLY purpose in these few years I have left on this earth is to reach as many people as I can with the saving gospel message of Jesus.

I do trust God! It is time for me to start proving it. Not as a show or demonstration for you or anyone else to witness, but as an act of complete submission to Jesus Christ in my life. As a result, I expect some criticism. I expect many to not understand why I am making the "foolish" financial decisions that I am. Just know that I'm not doing it for you.

So, you can see why I find the words "In God We Trust" as being so out of place on our money. Honestly, I would like to see it replaced with a warning statement, like "Use can be habit forming and deadly."

I have SO far to go in order to get this right in my own life, but it is a journey I am determined to begin and complete!

My Testimony (part 4)

It was a night back in September, 2o1o that I was about to go on one of my neighborhood walks and I knew that it was time to have a serious conversation with my wife. I had been on this path of spiritual renewal for several months and was considering some HUGE, life-changing decisions, but I had not included Cheryl in much of this process to this point. I was really starting to believe that planting a church might be something that God was preparing me for. The shift in my life's direction and my relationship with God had been profound and startlingly fast. I wasn't sure how Cheryl was going to respond to me laying all of this on her. I also knew that it was time that I move from just praying for my marriage and my wife to actually communicating with her and working on strengthening our relationship. I knew if I was going take any more steps toward church planting or any other kind of change in my life, it was not just going to be about me. My wife and 4 kids were going to be impacted by anything I decided in life-changing ways as well and this needed to shift from being MY journey to being OUR journey. Therefore, I invited Cheryl to join me on my walk that night and I let it all spill out then waited for her reaction.

One of the most refreshing, encouraging, and inspiring things that can happen for a person who is weighing big decisions is when they receive complete confirmation and agreement from the person they care most about. As I finished telling Cheryl about the things I was considering and praying about I sensed a massive weight and burden being lifted off of our relationship. It is hard to explain other than to tell you that Cheryl has been waiting for me to get to this point for quite a while. Cheryl explained that she was tired and weary of me chasing my own dreams without consideration for God's plans or the overall health of our family. We talked and prayed together and I realized that I was simply catching up to where my wife already was.

As for the idea about planting a church, Cheryl knew less about this than I did, but her faith was encouraging. Her words can be summarized somewhat like this. "Darrell, I am so ready to follow your lead in ministry where ever God takes us. It is scary and exciting, but I will support you 100% knowing that you are finally following God's lead rather than just chasing your own dreams." Now that I knew I had a teammate, it was time for me to really start finding out more about church planting and whether or not it was something that I was truly being called by God to do.

The months of September and October became a whirlwind of me contacting men who were involved in church planting in some form or another. Some guys I new personally, others were just names that someone said I should contact and listen to. I started emailing guys and trying to set up lunch appointments whenever I could. I wasn't sure what I was doing or what I was looking for, but the response was humbling and encouraging. Over a 4 week period I met with more than 10 different people who had dramatically different stories and advice to share. Several of them had recently planted churches of their own. Others were church planter coaches and network leaders. Others were not planters, but had many years leading a church as Senior Ministers. I imagine that my questions sounded ignorant and naive to them, but they were all very helpful and encouraging. Through these conversations I was beginning to see the "nuts and bolts" of planting a church, both the good and the bad. But more than the information I was getting, there was one constant in every conversation I had. Church planters have a PASSION to see the local church truly connect with a community of lost and dying people through developing relationships and really loving people.

I don't mean to imply that people leading or attending existing churches do not desire these things. I am not trying to say that church planters are any more spiritual or committed to evangelism or building the church than everyone else. I am just simply noting my observations about the heart and culture I have found to be a KEY and central passion for the church planters I have met or read about.

As a result of these conversations and observations, I began to search my soul. I had to ask myself some tough questions:

1) Do I really LOVE the church and believe it is the way Christ chose to share His message with the world?

2) Do I really LOVE unchurched people and want to develop real relationships with them even though they don't act or think like me?

3) Do I really want to step away from a "career" ministry position where I have a guaranteed salary from a church with a stable budget and income?

4) Do I really have the ability and patience to start a new church in a new community with no name recognition or core group of people to depend on?

5) Do I really want to enter a situation where I have to raise a ton of money to support the church I might plant?

6) Do I really want to expose my wife and kids to a very lonely and insecure lifestyle where we truly have to depend on God's provisions to make it?

7) Is my relationship with my wife and kids strong enough to endure all of this?

8) Is my relationship with God strong enough to endure all of this?

9) Am I ready to "clean out the closet" of my SUPER-materialistic world and depend on and trust God with my finances, security, and material desires?

As Cheryl and I began digging into these questions and more, one thing was clear to both of us. We were tired of chasing our own goals and dreams. We were ready to be challenged by God and to start living as true disciples of Christ instead of just "doing" ministry like we have for the past 15+ years of our marriage. As hard as it is to completely submit yourself to God in every way possible, Cheryl and I decided that we wanted to try. We have a LONG, LONG way to go, but the first step has been taken. We have decided to start walking down this path together.

Now that I have learned a bit about what church planting is about and met some folks who were already living this life and walking this road, it was time to start taking some real steps beyond just asking questions. I contacted Stadia, the church planting organization I mentioned earlier, and let them know I wanted to find out more about church planting and how to get involved or to see if it was something I should get involved in. I also had some conversations with people who were leading church planting networks looking for new planters. Based on these conversations the next step was obvious. I needed to go through "assessment".

I had been asking the right questions of the right people. I was making connections and getting a lot of positive feedback about whether or not I should consider planting. But it was time for me to take a REALLY big step. If I was serious about finding out if this is a path that God was leading me toward, it was time for me to sign up for a "Church Planting Assessment Center (CPAC)". This is a 4 day, intensive and exhaustive evaluation of both my wife and I where we would undergo psychological evaluation, spiritual gift assessment, and put into situations where we would be observed in situations that might simulate the early days of a church plant as we make decisions and interact with others. While CPAC would not just give us a simple "yes" or "no" as church planters, it would help us see our strengths and weaknesses and make recommendations as to whether or not we might be ready for planting now or in the future.

I really wanted to attend an assessment center, but I had a couple of dilemmas. First, it is very expensive. The cost was prohibitive for me personally. Without some financial help I would not be able to do an assessment center right now. Second, I would have to start letting people know (namely my church's leadership) that this was a path I was considering. A decision had to be made. Was I in this or not? Was I ready to take some steps that would be life-changing or not? The answer was not all that difficult. For Cheryl and I both, the clear answer was YES!!!

Looking ahead, I knew an assessment was about to take place in Tennessee in mid-January. I wanted to go to that assessment and see where it would take me. I started praying about this and seeking advice for how to pay for it. The answer was remarkably clear. I recalled the question Curt had asked me many months earlier about church planting and realized that it was time I start allowing others to be a part of what God wanted to do in my life. I knew that I had been serving on staff at Crosspoint Christian Church in Conyers, GA for over 5 years and they deserved to know about all of this and to have a chance to partner with me in it. I realized that planting a church was not about me, it was about building the Kingdom of God and I was convinced that Crosspoint would want to be a part of it.

After some deliberation, I sat down one night in November to write a request to our Missions Team at Crosspoint. My request was that they would join me as a partner as I started this journey and would help me by paying for me to attend the assessment in January. However, there was one thing I had to do before sending this request to our Missions Team. My Senior Minister had no idea I was on this path (as far as I knew) and it was time for us to have a talk.

I sat in my bed, reading the request I had just written on my computer screen, and thought about emailing it to Curt to initiate a conversation the next day at work. But before I sent the email I had a distinct impression that I needed to stop and pray about this. So I did.

My prayer was simple and the answer was immediate. I distinctly felt the Holy Spirit guiding me to NOT send this email and to wait for Curt to start a conversation with me about church planting. I was worried because I knew waiting would endanger my ability to attend assessment in January. Quick action was necessary to get signed up. But I decided to obey the leading and wait on Curt to talk to me.

The wait was not long. Actually, it was only a few hours. At work the next day, about 10am, Curt came into my office and asked if I had a minute to talk with him down in his office. As I sat down across from him he asked me a simple question. Curt said, "Do you remember me asking about church planting a while back? Have you given that any more thought?"

I have to admit that I was rocked by the realization that God was in control of all of this if I would just get out of the way and let Him lead. I had obeyed God and the wait was only about 9 hours. My conversation with Curt was encouraging and full of confirmation. Without giving details, Curt was completely supportive and pledged Crosspoint's full support of whatever direction God might take me in.

With Curt's blessing, I submitted my request to the Missions Team and had approval to sign up for assessment within 3 days.

That brings me up to today, January 15th, 2011. Cheryl and I are getting ready to leave for Tennessee on Monday for CPAC. We have no idea what God has in store for us there. We have no idea if planting a church is in our future. If it is, we have no idea where God might call us to plant a church. It is going to be a tough week and I am praying for some clear guidance and answers from God.

The irony of me ENDING my testimony here is that the story of what God is about to do in my life and the life of my family is just BEGINNING. There are still so many questions and uncertainties. There are so many things that could go wrong or change. There is so much growing I still need to do in my relationship with God and my family. There is so much I don't know. The scary part is I have just learned enough over the past year to realize how much I don't know and how small and feeble I really am.

But it sure is liberating and exciting to know that for the first time in my life, I'm committed to letting God have His way with me. I actually am starting to realize that He was always going to have His way with me, I am simply going to follow willingly instead of fighting Him.

There are many more stories I could share about the past few months that reveal God's hand in all of this. Maybe I'll be able to share those stories as my testimony continues to unfold. But this is where I will stop writing and ask you to start praying. Yes, it feels a bit arrogant and selfish to say that, but I really do cherish your prayers. Thank you for reading and encouraging me through this process that is just beginning. I can't wait to see what happens next and to share it with you.

My Testimony (part 3)

After the new commitments to studying the book of Acts and daily prayer started, something in me immediately changed. After a week I had read through the first 6 chapters of Acts, taken very detailed notes, and started thinking about what it would have been like to be a part of the early church those days. I was moved and inspired. I couldn't grasp how HUGE the transformation in Peter was from the end of the book of John to the early part of Acts. It FINALLY struck me that Peter was transformed by the Holy Spirit in a miraculous way and was doing amazing things in the name of Jesus Christ for God's glory and to advance the Kingdom of God instead of cowering in a corner and denying even knowing who Jesus was.

Peter's transformation was amazing - almost unbelievable. I imagine that some who knew Peter had a hard time believing this was genuine, but it clearly was. It was supernatural. As I reflected upon and studied Peter's transformation and the beginning and early phases of the church, I became convinced that God's Holy Spirit could do the same kind of miracle in me that He did in Peter. I knew that supernatural transformation was possible if the purpose was to advance the Kingdom of God against the gates of Hell. This type of transformation became my passionate prayer as I walked the neighborhood each night.

One day, a month or so later, I was working on some things in our youth room at the church when my Sr. Minister, Curt, walked in to talk with me. Really, the "talk" was just a simple question. Curt asked me if I would ever consider leading a church plant if our church ever decided to go that route in the future. The question was not an "offer", just simply a hypothetical question to gage my reaction. I stuttered around for a minute, not really sure what to say. The truth was that I had never even considered planting a church. Even though I was connected to God in Bible study and prayer in a very new and passionate way, I still was not to a point where I was thinking about leading a church or anything. At first, planting a church sounded like a HORRIBLE idea! My answer to Curt came out something like, "Um...I don't really know...uh...I've never thought about it before...I'm not sure if leading a church is in my future." What Curt heard in that moment from my reaction was, "NO! Leave me alone! I have my own plans and my own future." Curt would have been right in thinking that except he had no way of knowing how God was going to begin speaking to my heart from that moment on. The "Peter"-like transformation I had been praying for was beginning and I had no clue!!!

You see, at the same time Curt asked me about church planting I had a youth ministry friend at a church near mine announce that he was planting a church in Chattanooga, TN. I also heard about another friend of mine who was planting a church in Chapel Hill, NC. Then I heard about my wife's cousin who was joining a church plant in Charleston, SC. I heard about all three of these church plants within a week. It stirred something in my heart to hear about these guys and I decided that I needed to check it out. I had NO IDEA what was involved in church planting. I didn't know where to start. I didn't know how it happened. I didn't even know why it was even needed. My first thought was that we have a church on every corner here in the south, why do we need more?!!!

A few months passed with my questions about church planting dancing around in my head before I was finally moved to start seeking out real information. My first stop was to do some web searches about church planting. One site I came across was a church planting organization I had heard of but knew nothing about. Stadia is an organization that partners with church planters and church planting networks to plant local churches. On their site they explain what they do and why. I was intrigued. They also listed some church planting books as suggested reading so I decided to read a couple of church planting books to learn more about the church planting methodology and culture. In the midst of my study and research, I gave my friend who was planting in Chattanooga a call. By this time he was only about a month away from the launch of his church. I knew he would be able to explain what was going on and describe the experience in practical terms. Our conversation lasted over an hour and I hung up thinking, "this is something I could get excited about"!

Now, gathering information and being inspired is important, but it certainly is not the same thing as a "calling" from God. I continued growing deeper in the intensity of my personal Bible study and prayer life. Not coincidentally, people started noticing a change in my teaching and leadership with my youth group. My teaching and leading with my youth group underwent a significant shift and started reflecting what God was doing in my own heart. Without going into much detail, it became clear that my priorities and the depth of my teaching were dramatically changing. I found myself really starting to care. I found myself relating to Matthew 9 where Jesus looked on the crowds and saw they were harassed and helpless and he had compassion on them. I found myself really desiring to develop deeper relationships with my students. I began to see that God had me in youth ministry for a reason. It was not just a job and it was not just "doing" church. I had lots of kids in my group who were hurting and lost. God was opening my eyes and it was painful to see how much I had been missing.

Beyond the youth ministry, God began to open my eyes to the needs of my wife and kids. Without telling her story (that is for her to share), as I was going through this spiritual renaissance, God was showing me that my wife was really hurting. She was hurting, in part, because I had spent so many years focusing on myself and being blind to her needs. It was time for me to open my eyes and really love my wife and kids. As this began to happen, I finally made the connection. I, for the first time ever, realized that the Church is the Bride of Christ. I began to examine Jesus' love for His church and compare that with how I loved my wife. The comparisons and contrasts were stark and startling. This began a true renewal in my relationship with my wife and in my understanding of how Jesus views the Church.

Because of this new understanding, a truth came into focus for me. If Christ loves His church and this is the way that Christ chose to share His love with the world....AND if I was really learning to care about people and follow the leading of the Holy Spirit, it was becoming clear what God wanted me to do with my life. For the first time I began to not only accept, but embrace the idea that I would spend the rest of my life serving in the local church as a full-time minister. If the church was God's plan and where He was going to advance His Kingdom, then I need to be right in the center. To do anything else would serve no purpose and bring no fulfillment. I was now able to envision myself leading a church and this flung the doors wide open. God's calling in my life was starting to get very loud and I was finally listening!!!

Now that I was becoming convinced that leading a church was something that God was preparing me for, I needed to find out more about this church planting stuff. It was starting to look like a very scary and exciting path, but I still knew almost nothing about it. I knew that it was time for me to start having some serious conversations with people who were already somewhere down the road I was considering taking.

Part 4 (the final part, I think) of this testimony will cover the past few months of my life as I have explored church planting in depth and have sought God's leadership and direction for the next stage in my life that will be marked by the things that happen in 2011. Thanks for reading and I hope my writing serves some sort of purpose in your life as it does in mine.

(to be continued)

My Testimony (part 2)

In early 2010 I started walking my neighborhood every day for exercise. I usually walked for about 45 minutes and did it pretty late at night, after Cheryl and the kids were already in bed. Another reason for walking was a general dissatisfaction in my life. I was frustrated with my life. I had a sense that I would not be a youth minister for the rest of my life and I was convinced that continuing in ministry was not what I wanted to do. I simply did not know what I wanted to do with my life. Walking gave me a chance to clear my head and to be alone with my thoughts.

One night I remember walking and out of frustration I asked God to speak to me. Although I wasn't really expecting it, He did! It was not an audible voice or a sign in the sky or anything like that. It was simply the Holy Spirit speaking to my soul. I don't know how else to explain it. The message was loud and clear. It was clearly from God. And it was the slap in the face I needed.

Allow me to outline the message that was spoken into my heart that night:

First, I was convicted that I was a fraud in ministry. I worked for a church and had the title of a minister, but my actions and life did not show that I cared ANYTHING AT ALL about people and reaching them with the love of Christ. My youth ministry was 100% based on programming and attracting kids with a show. My personal relationships with almost all the kids in my ministry were shallow. I also realized that I had lived in a neighborhood for 2 years and did not know a single family beyond waving at them as I drove by. I didn't know if they were Christians. I didn't know if they had kids. I simply did not care about people. I was a fraud and God was convicting me of this fact!

Second, I was convicted of the fact that I had not opened my heart to personal Bible study and in-depth prayer time with God on a regular basis in years. As a minister I opened my Bible every day and prepared lessons and messages, but it was a job or a task. I didn't stop to ask God's Holy Spirit to open my eyes and guide my thoughts. I didn't stop to evaluate whether or not what I was preparing for my students was a part God's message for me too. Spiritually speaking, I was dry as the desert.

Third, I was convicted because I was not interested in being used by God to impact his Kingdom. I was only interested in building my own kingdom and following my own dreams of material comfort and advancement. I was afraid to even ask God what He wanted because I already had decided what I wanted.

As this message was being poured into my heart that night, I stopped walking and realized how lost I really was. I didn't care about people. I was disconnected from God. And I was running without any direction or purpose in my life. I knew it was time for a change. I knew it was time for me to stop plotting. I knew it was time that I be still and listen to God for a while.

The prayer that followed was genuine and it changed everything. I made a few new commitments to God that night. I committed to reading the book of Acts very carefully and slowly over a month. I took notes and I asked questions of others. I committed to making my nightly walks an exclusive time of prayer and connection with God. I also committed to meeting some of my neighbors and getting to know them. I followed through with these commitments and they led to some new commitments. For the first time in years I heard the Spirit of God and I knew what it meant to be broken and humbled.

Little did I know that God was already working on some other fronts that would impact my life as well.

Over the years I have developed a skill and a love for preaching. I enjoy it and I think I have a gift for communicating with people in this way. However, when people would ask me if I was interested in being the Lead Pastor of a church I would always laugh it off and say that there is much more to leading a church than preaching good sermons. I have spent years watching Lead Ministers deal with the politics of church and listening to people whine about the silly things they don't agree with or like. I have seen so many ministers get frustrated with keeping people happy while realizing they don't have time to really cast a vision for the church and pursue it. I wanted no part of this life! As a youth minister I am insulated from this stuff. People generally don't complain TO me. They just complain ABOUT me and other things to the Lead Minister. I was fine with this arrangement!

Let me be honest! I am not a very sensitive person. When someone is whining and complaining, my first thought is to ignore them or to roll my eyes. I have always feared that I would fail at leading a church because I wouldn't handle the "pastoring" part of being a pastor very well. This is a valid concern to be sure!

Let's just say that God has addressed this concern and a few others in my life lately.

I know this is a bit mundane and boring, but I really feel a need to write all of this (part 2) to set up what is about to happen in my life as I write part 3. God is amazing at orchestrating the details of life. As I said before, 2011 is going to be a landmark year in my life. Now that I have set it up, part 3 of my testimony will reveal the path that God as put me on. I can't wait for you to see where this is heading...

(to be continued)

My Testimony (part 1)

I have spent years and years telling God what I was and was not going to do with my life. I can remember graduating Bible college and declaring that I would do youth ministry for a while, but I would never work in a church my whole life. I remember telling people that I enjoyed working with teens, but working with adults and leading a church was something I would NEVER do. I have laid plans and plotted my course. I have educated myself and prepared for a whole new direction in my life after the ministry gig was up.

Then I made a big mistake!

As I was preparing myself to leave ministry behind for a career where I could earn a good deal more money and security for my family, I could not help myself. I felt a nagging sense that God needed my full attention and He was not going to let me leave full-time ministry until I actually stopped to listen to Him first. So I did. And something happened that I did not expect.

Allow me to confess a few things about my personal relationship with God up until about a year ago:

1) I have grown up being very involved in church. I attended church for my first 18 years and have worked in one for my second 18 years. However, in all of this time, I never really grasped the concept that the church is not an institution or an organization. It is the bride of Jesus Christ and I am a part of her. I never really grasped the intimacy and passion Christ feels for His bride. I did not love the church, I just thought of it as a human-led organization.

2) I have grown up with a good deal of Bible knowledge and training. I can engage you in just about any theological topic and probably convince you that I know what I'm talking about! I know the Bible like a student knows a text book. I can pass a test. I can quote the answers. However, I never really understood the real power of God's Word when someone begins to really make it the basis of their entire life. I never really understood what it meant when the Bible was described as "living and breathing".

3) I have always been a good "talker". I love to be the center of attention and in a group setting I somehow end up getting that attention without even realizing what I am doing. I figured out, at a very young age, that my personality caused people to trust me in positions of leadership, deserved or not. The problem is that I could get attention and leadership positions on my own ability. There was never any thought to depending on the Holy Spirit's leadership. There was never any need for me to wait on God to open doors for me. I just opened them myself.

4) Trusting God is something I have always been really bad at doing. I'm not sure why, but I suspect that it has a lot to do with the fact that I have never really needed to trust in God. I come from a great family life. I have never really faced brokenness in my family life. I have only experienced death in a close and personal way on a couple of occasions. I have never been in need or truly desperate. I have always been able to fight my own way out of trouble or tough times.

These confessions could go on for a while, but what I have written so far addresses some of the keys to what God has done with me over the past 12 months that has really shaken me to my core and fundamentally changed who I am as a person.

In part 2 of this testimony, I want to tell you about how God has taken the first 36 years of my life and experience and turned it upside down. I am on a path now that I never planned for or expected. I have been running from this my entire life and now I finally am embracing it. Because of this, I am certain that 2011 is going to be THE landmark year of my life. Maybe not the "best" or the "most important" year, but one that I will look back in the future and note that this was the year everything changed...

(to be continued)